Saturday, May 29, 2010

I'm glad that school is out and now I can focus on my home. There is so much that needs to be done around the house; everything had to be put on hold while I finished up the school year. Anyone who teaches English can relate to what I'm talking about, I'm sure. I truly feel that I gave this school year all that I had. I'm not sure what drives me to do what I do. I love my kids and I love to teach, but I think it's more than that. My husband told me today that I need to learn how to relax. I was telling him that I wish I felt more ambitious today (the first day off from school) and he told me, "You don't need to be ambitious; you need to learn to relax." I suppose he is right. I feel like such a slug if I relax. Perhaps I just don't know how to do it. I feel as if I always need to be gainfully employed in something. It doesn't so much matter what it is, but I have to feel like I've accomplished something worthy of accomplishing. Whether that something be cleaning the pet hair off the floor, pulling weeds, learning something new from a TV program—I'm rather fond of HGTV—or hanging out with a friend, I have to be doing something worthwhile. I rarely just sit and do nothing. Even now, I'm sitting, but I'm blogging. In a few moments, I'll be heading to Coolidge to hang out with some of my husband's friends, and you know what I've packed to bring with me? —a paper that I wrote for my Grad. Research class because a journal wants to publish it and it needs revisions. I'm compelled to make the revisions quickly, even though I told the editor I needed more time than just this week. I have to finish it or I won't really relax; however, perhaps I don't even know how to relax, so what does it matter?